The Post-Birth Experience......from an Intended Parent's Perspective

You know, here at Shared Conceptions, we strive to share as much expert information as possible about being a surrogate or an intended parent. However, sometimes the best  information comes first-hand from someone who is actually "living" the role. To follow is a fascinating account of the post-birth experience from an intended parent.  


So the way it works in a hospital after a surrogate baby is born is that they give the surrogate mom her own room and then they give baby his own room and parents can "room in" with him.  So I slept in a hospital bed for 2 nights at Spencer's side. The room was next to Vanessa's room which was fun so we were back and forth while they were still at the hospital. Vanessa was allowed to pick 1 other person besides herself that had access to the baby.  I got the golden ticket so S didn't have any access to him without Vanessa or I present.  If I wanted to eat, I had to go to the cafeteria or something and I had to drop baby back off in the nursery (can't leave him with S in our room).  One time I did just that and dropped of Spencer at the nursery.  Then, after lunch I went to go pick him up again and a new nurse I had not seen before answered the nursery door.  I stood there in my street-clothes and said "I'm just here to get my baby".  She had that look on her face like "I know you are here to kidnap a baby and you are not going to get away with it".  Even while comparing our name bands she seemed dubious.  I'm sure the other nurses filled her in real quick after I left.

I also found it entertaining as housekeepers and other such people came in that they would look at me and it was obvious they had no clue how I could be so thin sitting there cross legged on my hospital bed in hospital clothes.

I'm going to be honest here and say that I felt some guilt as I watched swollen-bellied women hobbling down the hallway after just giving birth.  I felt very out of place for sure.  I felt guilty for being able to enjoy my newborn so fully.  With my own 2 children that I gave birth to I wasn't able to fully enjoy my babies nearly as much because half of your attention is your own pain, exhaustion, and breastfeeding.  But this time my newborn had my undivided attention.  My worst complaint was an uncomfortable hospital bed.  Yep, I felt some guilt.

Oh, one thing S and I thought was funny was on the way home from the hospital when the hospital financial lady called me.  She said "Vanessa says you will be paying the bill for her......(reluctantly) that right?"  I told her yes and so she told me I'd have both hers and our hospital bill prepared.

There can be so many details and emotions associated with a surrogate pregnancy. It takes competence and compassion to ensure a smooth journey. Shared Conceptions encompasses all that is needed to ensure that your experience is memorable and rewarding . Call on us, we look forward to hearing from you!

1 comment (Add your own)

1. Shefali wrote:
Such a good post :) and thank you for sharing about the happiness of intended parents experience with us. its such a wonderful moment of these life. ivf surrogacy india is like a god gift.

Fri, May 9, 2014 @ 3:01 AM

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