Opinions from the Surrogates on a Surrogate Breast-feeding Your Baby

"I breastfed both of my kids until they were almost 3, but I really don't want to breastfeed my surrobabies. I do think colostrum is super important and I am happy to pump & provide at least that initial milk. However, I want the babies to bond to their parents, and nursing was, at least for me, a very close & bonding experience. I certainly hope that I get some snuggle time with them after they are born, but I imagine that I will be thrilled to sleep through the night instead of getting up to feed them!" Sweetpotatoe

"Not an intended parent, but I can understand how intended parents can feel either way. I actually had a rough time breastfeeding my own two kids, so I don't see it as a bonding activity. It's simply a healthier, more effective way of feeding baby, especially at the colostrum stage. If your surro is going to pump, being able to breast feed the first couple of days is much more effective at getting the milk to come in rather than pumping alone, and it's also healthier for your surro's postpartum recovery. That said, I can totally respect why intended parents would not be comfortable with their surro breastfeeding." Mamabug

                                   

"My intended mother also induced lactation, and I pumped for them. (They also supplemented with formula as needed). After their son was born, he went right to his mom so she could start to nurse him right away. I was never concerned about me bonding, I just know that if I were an intended mother, it would break my heart to watch my baby being nursed by someone else. When people talk about their concerns with a surro breastfeeding, they always talk about the surrogate bonding too much. My worry would be about the baby bonding though, not the surrogate." Cookie

"I am one of the biggest lactivists out there, but I did not want to breastfeed my surrotwins.
I found an intended mother that was going to induce lactation and it was what sealed the deal with me to match since I feel so strongly about breastmilk. I planned on pumping to help at first so that they would have colostrum and then for a few weeks. At the end of the pregnancy I asked the intended mother how the inducing was going and she said that she felt "too intimidated" to try and that she was worried that she wouldn't make enough for two babies. I was absolutely crushed, but it was her decision. But I still could never have breastfed them. While I'm sad that their parents decided to give them formula instead of breastmilk, it just wasn't an option for me emotionally to breastfeed them." Pink Mama


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