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When your surrogate mother miscarries

People are often at a lost for words when it comes to comforting a woman who has miscarried her baby. The responses can range from the very common, “I’m so sorry for your loss” to the incredulous, “It just wanted meant to be” or “Oh well, next time.”

So if people have a hard time comforting a mom carrying her own child, greeting card companies have little to offer the intended parents in the way of condolences. Intended parents are sometimes treated as if there’s no connection or bond with the baby the surrogate mother carries. Nothing could be further from the truth.

If your surrogate mother has miscarried, allow yourself to grieve and know that your surrogate mother is more than likely heart broken too. She was vested mind and body to help grow your family.

See what policies your company has in place when it comes to taking time off due to miscarriages. Ask for the time off if you need it.

Those close to you will understand your pain. They may not have the right words to say but they’ll support you and won’t demean your right to grieve. Surround yourself with those people.

Take time to regroup. This could take weeks or months. Definitely have a talk with your surrogacy agency to discuss next moves when you’re ready.

Losing a child at any stage is always hard.

Know that you’re allowed to grieve and we’re here for you when you’re ready to begin again


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