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4 Ways to Be a Great Surrogate Mother

Surrogate mother, “What makes a great surrogate mother?”

We often get this question from surrogates (and intended parents). There's simply no clear cut answer. However, there are several qualities and factors that play into a successful journey as a surrogate mother.

Beyond meeting the requirements and passing screening, a strong surrogate should have a love of pregnancy, an understanding of the time and commitment involved, and an overall sense of compassion. Want to know more? Here are additional things to consider to enhance your time as a surrogate.

1. Be consistent with communication. As Shared Conception is a relationship-based agency, it is important you remain available to your intended parents. We encourage communication at least once a week between surrogates and intended parents. Have fun with it, too! You’re getting to know people who often become extended family.

2. Share your story with others. Becoming an advocate for surrogacy and showcasing your support for the process is one of the best things a surrogate can do. While the acceptance of surrogacy has grown tremendously, there are some people who still feel it’s wrong. And it’s usually because of inexperience with it or an unawareness of the process. With surrogate mothers sharing their experiences, more and more people can open their minds to the wonderful thing it is.

3. Use your support system. Whether you are married, partnered, dating, or single, having a primary support person is a requirement for all surrogates in our program. Beyond the physical demands of a pregnancy, you’re going to have emotional ones. This person should be able to assist with child care, housekeeping, and hormonal injections during the IVF process, and emotional support during your journey. Your support person will play an integral role in helping to make this journey a positive experience for you.

4. Be open-minded and understanding. Surrogacy is a human experience. No one can control how and when an individual will respond to medications; whether or not travel plans will need to be changed at the last minute; or whether, despite seemingly ideal conditions, a pregnancy will be achieved on a given transfer. These elements are often out of your control, which is why our surrogacy agency asks surrogates (and intended parents) to focus efforts on managing expectations throughout the process.

Shared Conception hopes these pointers offer a path to a more fulfilling surrogacy for you and your intended parents!

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