You, Your Surrogate and Your Baby Shower!

So you are an intended parent and your family and friends are excited about throwing you a fun-filled and festive baby shower.  Sounds great but for you, there is only one hiccup   Your surrogate mother happens to live relatively close by, you all have a great rapport and you would love to include her in all the pomp and circumstance of the baby shower.  After all, she’s the one doing the hard work--carrying your baby!  How do you include her in your special day when everyone else is celebrating your impending motherhood?  

Shared Conception has a few solutions for you.

  1. If you can, send her and her significant other on a well-deserved mini-getaway or out to a nice meal.  The getaway doesn’t have to be extravagant, just relaxing and tasteful. If providing a quick getaway isn’t an option, send your surrogate mother and her family out for a day in her city or the nearest seaside town or splurge on nice meal for them.

  2. Planning a separate party for her after the baby is born would be a wonderful way to honor her, before or after the getaway. Invite both her friends and your family members and toast her contribution to your family.

  3. Before your shower guests arrive, you could potentially present your surrogate mother with a special gift or a gift certificate to be used any way she'd like. Also, feel free to include her in the shower festivities--allow her to help open gifts, or help you record the names of gift-givers.

                                                      

Keep in mind that during the shower, you're in a unique position. Most moms-to-be are fawned over, but by that point in their pregnancy they're typically uncomfortable and unsteady on their feet, and sit for the duration of their showers. You can completely set your surrogate at ease while making her as comfortable as possible and fawn over her a bit, as you both enjoy the festivities. With a little bit of advance planning, your shower can be for you as the new mom-to-be, while your surrogate is comfortable while feeling useful, and after the birth, she can indulge in her own getaway and thoroughly enjoy herself.

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