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Communication Afterbirth

It is one of the more uncomfortable topics that you must discuss with your surrogate. There are times when one party does not feel the same as the other. What happens then? We suggest discussing this topic at the initial interview with your potential surrogate. Always remember, there are times when these feelings change throughout the pregnancy journey, but an initial dialogue leaves the topic open for discussion.

Wondering how to maintain or break from your relationship with your surrogate can weigh heavily on the mind of an intended parent. As important as this question is, it is most important to make sure you’re on the same page about a post birth relationship with the woman who may be carrying your child.

Understanding that surrogates never see the baby they are carrying for a couple as theirs is very important. They have become involved in surrogacy because they want to help create a family, not trying to add another baby to their own. They want that baby to enhance yourfamily.

Another important fact to remember is that the surrogate mother does not have legal rights to your child. If you’d like to cut off all contact with her as soon as the baby is born, you have every right to do so. However, many intended parents form such a tight bond with their surrogate, that this is rarely the case. Whether it is an annual Christmas card or just remaining Facebook friends, as long as both parties are on the same page, anything can work.

We advise all of our intended parents to do what they feel is most comfortable for them regarding the amount of contact that remains between them and their surrogate after birth. Of course, if you and your surrogate feel extremely close, you can always have more contact than you originally planned. Always ensure you, your partner and your newest family member are comfortable with the level of contact.

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