Guest Blog! The Wait...

One of the hardest things to do in surrogacy is wait.  This goes for all parties:  the IPs, the surrogate, the egg donor, the agency coordinator, etc.  It's so hard to wait when something so amazing is almost in your grasp; you just have to put the final pieces of the puzzle into place.  Waiting is also one of the most important things in surrogacy.  Imagine rushing into any other type of commitment and the consequences it can have.  You might meet a lovely couple or a lovely woman wanting to be a surrogate and think, "this is it!  Let's get this show on the road!" but there are so many important factors to consider.

The BIG questions have to be discussed before you ever move forward.  How many embryos will we transfer?  Are we open to reduction/termination?  What will our fees be?  What type of birthing situation would we like?  A good agency can and should help you to dicuss these items and may even do some of this screening before you even meet in person.  It may seem a little odd to talk about so many intimate details right off the bat, but it's important to be sure everyone is on the same page.  

One of the things I've seen so many people do is compromise their true desires and end up disappointed or in a position they did not want to be in.  The effects of this decision can run the range from casting a shadow of awkwardness over the journey to ending up with procedures you agreed to, on paper, but never thought you'd have to actually go through with.  True matching should go over the seemingly trivial details and the hard, heavy items ad naseum so that no one has regrets later down the line.  People tend to get caught up in the emotion of the process and think, "This is almost what I want so those few things won't matter."  Trust me, they matter.  They matter a lot.  So, slow down, think it through, stick to what you originally want for your journey..  You might have to wait a little longer, but the wait is worth it. Not much is finite and predictable in surrogacy (or life!) but the more solid foundation you lay, the better the process will be.  Trying to shove pieces together that don't fit never works out well.  Practicing patience to find that perfect match is one of the smartest decisions anyone involved in surrogacy can make.

By Carmela Cancino

6 comments (Add your own)

1. Deniz wrote:
hello,i want to question youif there is a maeirrd couple with the wife is infertile,then the couple advertised to seek for surrogate mother then, a single with 2 children is willing to be the surrogate mother. they promised to pay for the surrogacy, the surrogate mother succesful signed the agreement. a few years later, the surrogate mother has mother's love feeling towards the new born baby, and refuse to hand over the baby, then she promise to return the money. how to make the decision on this situation?

Sun, August 5, 2012 @ 12:19 PM

2. Auth wrote:
Last night Joy Behar had the Octomom on her show. What a freak she is photo of her with her 8 babies was shown; she coudln't even get her arms around them. Now they're 2 years old and she took them on a plane trip someplace and everyone was annoyed and yelling at her because of the noise those kids were making. I have no children; but I could cry' for the 14 she has .poor kids no father and a moronic mother.[]

Mon, August 6, 2012 @ 12:02 AM

3. Rajan wrote:
And which Disney book/film would that be?On a side note, look at Philip K. Dick's Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? and it's film adaptation Blade Runner . Both are polar opoipsts but fantastic classics in their own ways. I am almost done reading Upton Sinclair's Oil! and I love P.T. Anderson's adaptation of it, popularly known as There Will Be Blood . Again, polar opoipsts but fantastic in their own separate mediums.It's rare but it happens.

Mon, August 6, 2012 @ 1:56 AM

4. Emergencias wrote:
Re the ending: Carver did dgesin/intend the virus to kill host + surrogate. Greer saves humanity by using the master switch to disconnect the entire host population from their surrogates, but then hesitates over whether to also turn off the surrogates so the virus can't be uploaded at all. Ultimately of course he lets the virus do its work on the surrogates, completing his conversion to the Dread's philosophy that humans should live in their own bodies.

Mon, August 6, 2012 @ 4:40 AM

5. Mai wrote:
I guess these people that coohse a reduction live in a world that convinces them, what you don't know, won't hurt you' but I cannot fathom their reality.I have experienced twins that made it to term and twins that one, was lost in utero.Both those scenarios, the twins, feel' their twin and in the case of the one lost, into adulthood now.These people may be doing things to simplify their life but they have possibly created a huge vacuum, burden and loss for the CHOSEN survivor(s).I remember when Doctors started balking at circumcising baby boys and calling it cruel and barbaric. It was quite the debate. I would like to know how Doctors can call this anything less? Is it because they are now all programmed to accept abortion as a procedure' to a fetus rather than a life?

Mon, August 6, 2012 @ 5:28 AM

6. jacy wrote:
Good news for surrogacy parent or they looking for it.
Process for Surrogacy ,

IVF Clinic India

Thu, August 23, 2012 @ 5:49 AM

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