Perspectives from a Woman Observing her Friend as a Surrogate Mom

As our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, journeys through the surrogacy process with our families and surrogates, we thought it neat to share a different perspective of the birth. These observations  comes from a friend of the surrogate mother immediately after she has given birth to twins and those babies are in a neighboring room with their delighted parents.  Read on.

"Well it was a Wednesday morning and Amanda and I were texting madly to each other. It was the day she was going in to have the dreaded c-section. The baby girl refused to cooperate and there was no other option. After quite a few hours of anxious waiting, I finally got a text from Amanda - the babies were here. She was texting back and forth to me and I said to another friend "there is no way she is going to remember all of this", and sure enough she hadn't. We had a good few laughs over the next few weeks in remembering the texts.

I went in that night to visit her. I couldn't believe she wanted me to come in - I didn't want to see anyone after my c-sections. She waited until we were alone in the room and she said "people asked me if I would find it hard to give up the babies, and I haven't felt it hard at all - is that normal?" I knew she was still rather drugged out from all of medicines she was given, and reminded her that from day one she had made it clear in her mind that they were not her babies and biologically they were not hers. She seemed somewhat at ease, but that was the first time I had seen any concern from her regarding that.


I got to see the babies briefly as I was walking into Amanda's room. There was a busy procession of people heading into a room nearby. I recognized Rose and Tim from a photo Amanda had shown me. I had never met them as they lived in another state where surrogacy is not recognized.

As I sat and chatted to Amanda, it just seemed so surreal that here she was recovering from a major operation and pretty much right next door was a brand new family relishing their new gifts of life that she had carried. It was a nice interruption when Rose popped in to check on her. The friendship and love that had blossomed between them was so evident in those few minutes, I had to hold back the tears."

As these experiences unfold, Shared Conception is right  there to compassionately and competently guide both the surrogate mom and the intended parents as they move through the various stages of the birth, including the birth and immediately afterwards. Contact us, we can help.



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