Real Life Surrogate Experiences

What do you think, would you carry a stranger’s baby? How about your sister’s child? Over the last few years, surrogacy has entered our society  with celebrities like Nicole Kidman and Sarah Jessica Parker using surrogates to complete their families. But yet, surrogacy remains one of the least talked about tools in the struggle against infertility. Why do surrogates do what they do? Here are two heartfelt stories from women who have experienced  surrogacy.

 – Rayven Perkins*, 32, married, mother to a 10-year-old girl and 11-year-old boy

"I have been a surrogate mother three times (twins in February 2007 and a little boy in June 2008), and I’m about to give birth this month to my fourth surrogate baby. The best part is knowing you did this for the right reasons when you deliver the baby and the parents finally see him or her. But there are a lot of sacrifices a surrogate makes. There are hormone shots that my husband had to help me take for three months, prior to the transfer and then almost through the first trimester. With varying state laws on surrogacy, you may have to stay in state. My husband had to turn down a promotion in another state, and I missed Christmas with my in-laws during my 3rd trimester with twins because my doctor said I couldn’t travel.

[As for handing the baby off] I knew instinctually that I’m not an attached type of person. I always viewed surrogacy as a long babysitting project. I’m going to give birth any day now and I’m excited that the parents will be there. It’s not sad for me at all. I have no regrets whatsoever – I’m just glad I was able to participate. We’re not rich people. We’ll never donate a wing of a hospital, but it’s one way our family can give back to our world in a really big way. Without our assistance, there would be four less children in the world. We are showing our own children how to be generous and how to sacrifice for others."

                                      

– Natasha Skinner*, 37, married, 14-year-old son and 11-, 8-, 5- and 2-year-old daughters

"I was a surrogate for my sister-in-law, my husband’s brother’s wife. She has cystic fibrosis so she could not carry a child, but they could genetically create a healthy baby with her egg and his sperm.

It was important for my husband that we had family support, especially if I wasn’t feeling well. We already had five kids so if that meant making a meal or driving a kid somewhere, other family members stepped in. My mother-in-law helped tremendously. And my sister-in-law’s family helped, mostly by providing meals or by watching the kids when I went to the grocery store to get food.

Really the best part was at the end when they received their baby, just to see the joy and happiness. When John and Kelly came in, I thought she was going to faint. You could just see that they were elated. It was very special, and it absolutely brought us closer. Giving something is as important as receiving something."

At the end of the day, only you, as a potential surrogate, can make the decision to impact and complete someone else's family.  As you go through your decision-making process, Shared Conception is here to guide you and answer any and all questions. Call on us. 

*Excerpts from Amy Levin-Epstein  

 

 

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