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Surrogate Story: From the application to delivery day by Sarah, experienced surrogate mother

Starting out, I didn’t know exactly what to expect— though I could imagine the possible effects. When I first found out I was pregnant with my daughter, it was a complete surprise, and I was initially in shock and did not know what to feel or think about being pregnant. I was only 19 after all and had no plans of getting pregnant for at least a few years. After a few days, I let that news sink in and ended up embracing the news. I remember for the majority of my pregnancy being very excited and happy. I just loved it. And from time to time (after the birth) I would actually miss being pregnant (but with no desire to start over with a newborn no matter how adorable they are, lol).

I thought long and hard and discussed at length the decision to go on a surrogacy journey. Not to mention all the surrogacy blogs I read of other surrogates, each one unique in its own way. Emotions are rather unpredictable, especially when combined with a woman’s hormones. And I could not say with 100% certainty that I would come out of it ‘unscathed,’ but my husband fully supported my decision and shared my opinion that I would have the right mindset. So I decided to start with the application with my selected surrogacy agency…and see if or how far it would take me. And I am so glad I did :)

There was definitely a lot of frustration after going through two failed transfer attempts and three cycles—those shots aren’t exactly fun! And after feeling like I had so much trouble getting a successful transfer, I worried through most of the first trimester that the baby wouldn’t stay. I think I started really feeling confident in the pregnancy after I started feeling the first flutters of movement from baby around 17-18 weeks. My favorite part, albeit the least comfortable, is the last 2 to 3 months when you really start showing. The overall pregnancy was a good experience though different from what I had anticipated.

I realize now that a part of the kind of excitement and happiness I felt with my daughter came from preparing and planning for the baby, which is something I did not need to do in a surrogacy journey. So when that ‘nesting’ period came instead of running around preparing and arranging baby stuff, I was running around scrubbing appliances inside and out and washing down walls and doors and reorganizing closets, lol. Instead the excitement and happiness I felt was different because it wasn’t for me, but for an awesomely wonderful intended couple that had started this journey long before I stepped in.

When my water broke on a Monday morning, I knew it wouldn’t be long (though I didn’t know it would be 21 hours later-lol) that I would be laying my eyes on the child I had carried for the past 38 weeks and I wasn’t sure what or if any kind of emotion would hit me. But when I first laid eyes on her I felt nothing except the relief that pushing was over. They cut the cord, wiped her up a little bit and then I was asked if I would like to hold her. I didn’t feel the need to and wondered if I should…but decided I would. Taking her in my arms, I felt nothing but a big sense of pride wash over me, she was beautiful or as her father said when I first walked into their room as he was holding her, “She’s perfect.” I wish the parents could have made it there in time for the birth, but all that matters is that they were able to make it. I never once felt like she was mine or that she was being taken away from me. I am fully confident that my intended parents will be wonderful parents. I got a kick out of watching them with her because they acted just like new parents. I remember my first week with my baby, Chloe…she broke me in. And so Hannah will break them in, lol.

The one month pictures were just beautiful, I loved seeing how much she had grown and how healthy she looked. The parents have made it all the way home now and have had a couple of pictures on Facebook of them holding/feeding her. They make a beautiful family :)

Assuming everything goes well with my postpartum checkup, and I can’t imagine why it wouldn’t as I am feeling almost 100% right now (I think it helps that I didn’t tear, thank goodness!), I can totally see me going on another journey.  I can only imagine how wonderful it must feel to see new families created every day but it really is a wonderful thing surrogacy agencies are doing for these intended couples. And I am thankful to have been a small part of it.

1 comment (Add your own)

1. Olivia Wilson wrote:
I'm finding this more and more to be the case. My main experiences of caring for children has been for kids who are not my own. My step kids who I look after 50% of the time. And my nieces with whom I spent a lot of time looking after when my sister was a single mum. I thought the main joy of looking after kids was to help these totally vulnerable little people when they genuinely can't do stuff themselves. And teach them how to do it themselves - not just an egotistical desire to pass on genetic material. Unfortunately I’m infertile, so I can’t having baby by nature way. I deeply love kids. But I had put up with my fate for some time. Then I met my boyfriend, who shares my love to kids. I was afraid that he will dump me, but my sweetheart insisted on alternative ways to have baby. So now we are looking for the right clinic. I’m already choosing between Spain and Ukraine. The first one because of its location. And Ukraine because of lower prices of procedures. Well, time will show.

Wed, December 14, 2016 @ 4:16 AM

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