We’re Not In It For The Money… which is why an agency is so important to me

"When people find out that I’m a surrogate, the very first thing they usually ask me is “How much do you get paid?” I felt their question was insulting, but I’ve come to realize that it’s just plain curiosity and they’re not judging me. I now tell them “I don't,”which is true. We surrogates do not get paid to have someone else’s baby. It’s not a buying and selling market, like if you wanted a new pet. This is a person’s child, a human being that they themselves could not physically carry. As surrogates, we are helping them receive what they have been yearning for. We do what we do for the emotional fulfillment and to give something back because we are capable. We do get compensated for pain and suffering (which let me tell you…there is plenty of), however, that compensation equals to about the same as working a part time job.”

Our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, has researched and found out that  compensation can help put surrogates in a better financial position.  They can go back to school; put a down payment on a home; it can help a stay-at-home mom set realistic goals and feel useful. People, in general, seem to have this idea that if a surrogate carries someone else’s child they get all their debts paid off, free plastic surgery, a platinum card AND a new car! Not to mention getting showered with gifts from intended parents who must be millionaires themselves (not!).

The truth: it’s expensive to conceive a child if it's not done the old fashioned way. Most people who come to the decision that they need a surrogate are already financially strapped. They have probably gone through tens of thousands of dollars already via fertility treatments, etc. Just because someone wants their own baby using modern technology doesn’t mean they are wealthy. This is why Shared Conception is so helpful. They know all of this. They deal with the finances. They help everyone understand what is needed and what expenses to expect and why some things are necessary and some are not.


Please remember, it’s more than just the intended parents and the surrogate involved. There are many factors to consider: the different types of insurance needed, fertility clinics, lab work, travel, doctors, hospitals, lawyers and the red tape that is the law. Shared Conception recommends you don’t do this on your own. On both sides of the playing-field, this can be a financially and emotionally challenging journey. Having experienced professionals that know the ropes and have gone through every possible scenario is invaluable. Someone in your corner to fight for you and make sure things come out all right can make a huge difference.  And when it all works out beautifully, oh how amazing that is!

The reality of surrogacy is that it may be an unconventional situation but those same feelings of happiness are still there at the end of the journey.  We are not in the business of selling babies, we are, instead,  a wonderful alternative route to parenthood.

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