What kind of communication would you like to maintain after the birth?

Everyone dislikes uncomfortable situations. Yet, they seem to occur far too frequently when it comes to having a baby. Sometimes, it just seems that privacy goes out the window once you decide to start a family. However, there are times when it’s extremely important to allow uncomfortable situations to occur in order to ensure there are no complications in the future — especially when it comes to surrogacy.

There is always one topic that weighs on the mind of the intended parent. A question you need to ask to make sure you’re on the same page with the woman who may be carrying your child in the future: What kind of communication would you like to maintain after the birth?


First of all, surrogates never see the baby they are carrying for a couple as theirs – they have become involved in surrogacy because they want to help a couple have their own child.   They aren't trying to add another baby to their family, they want that baby to enhance your family. 

Another  important thing to remember is that the surrogate mother has no legal rights to your child. If you’d like to cut off all contact with her as soon as the baby is born, you have every right to do so. However, many intended parents  form a close bond with their surrogate and  might want to be  Facebook friends so they can see pictures of your kid growing up. Still others may be content merely to get a holiday card every December. Additionally, good rapport and, in some cases, a friendship can occur through Instant Message (IM).  This type of relationship just forms naturally during the surrogacy process. As long as both parties are on the same page, anything can work.

Shared Conception's advice is to offer up a friendly yet minimal amount of contact. Of course, if you and your surrogate hit it off  you can always have more contact than you planned. Always ensure your child is comfortable with the level of contact,very important. 

This topic may initially  seem trivial but it's an important topic that needs to be addressed as soon as possible so that all parties are adhering to expectations and not reacting to a lack of communication or a misunderstanding. Deal with all the "uncomfortable" topics upfront so you can mentally relax and enjoy the rest of the pregnancy!




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